Barney Rubble - Trouble

Posted on Mon Jan 11, 2021 @ 12:57am by Master Chief Petty Officer Symmons & Crewman James Bashforth

Mission: Prelude - 00
Location: USS Eagle, Main Engineering
Timeline: MD 05
669 words - 1.3 OF Standard Post Measure

It had taken Symmons a while to find his feet on his new posting the USS Eagle. The ship was smaller and more cramped than some he had worked on in the past. Since beaming over from the USS Arcadia he had already bashed his head on no less than twenty hatch ways and got so stuck in tight spaces that he had to be beamed out of the Jeffrey's Tubes on seven separate occasions. If Saurians blushed he would have gone seven different shades of beetroot by now.

But among the excitement of their last mission and his personal embarrassment he was enjoying being back in the engine room of a ship. With the Eagle now settled in orbit of a L-class planet it gave a chance for him to conduct some much needed maintenance on some of the ships sub systems.

Stood at a console on the far wall Symmons claw like hands danced over the controls making a satisfying clacking and beeping sound as he worked. 'Diagnostic complete. Recommend recalibration of the secondary plasma intake valve.' The computer reported in a metallic voice. "I thought you may say that." Symmons muttered to the console. "But not today!" He continued saying to himself. His claws swiftly flicked and clicked at a few buttons and he stood and watched satisfied as the data from his console downloaded to a padd.

In the distance he heard a clatter of a maintenance hatch open and a loud cockney voice call over to him. "Chief!"

Looking up from his controls Symmons took long graceful strides towards the voice. But he couldn't see anyone! He blinked both sets of eyelids and surveyed the room again, this time he noticed a mop of curly afro hair sticking up out of a hatch in the floor.

"The crews in the shipyard gone and naused this right up Chief." The deep Cockney voice called out again as a hand emerged from the hatch waving an overloaded relay in the air.

Symmons sighed. "Naused? What is this naused?" He asked in a deep melodic voice as he moved and stared down the hatch. Looking down in the crawl space he could see Crewman 'Basher' Bashforth stood in a mess off broken relays and circuits. "What it means Chief is the entire secondary plasma system is in Barney!" Basher called back with a frustrated look on his dark and grease stained brow. Symmons was still confused, he wasn't sure if the universal translator was malfunctioning or if he just misheard. He blinked twice hard. "Barney?" He asked.

Basher dropped the relay. "Doesn't anybody on this ship speak English?" He asked rhetorically. "Barney Rubble? Trouble!" He exclaimed frustratedly as he climbed up and out of the hatch and sat on the deck plate.

"I wasn't aware we had a Barney Rubble on the ship, can we do anything to assist?" Symmons asked, genuinely concerned for someone's safety. Basher stared up at Symmons and laughed hard. "No No Chief….it's not a person!" He blurted out in between laughs. "It's an expression, because it rhymes." He continued to try and explain but Symmons still looked dumbfounded.

Seeing the confusion he had caused Basher stopped laughing and tried to calm himself. "What I mean to say is sir, most of the secondary power systems have some burnt out components. Looks like they had the Ferengi in doing this one on the cheap." He reported.

Symmons frowned and offered his claw to help Basher up. "I feared as much." He replied. "I had better tell the Captain, I have no doubt we will both be eaten by Barney when she finds out." He sighed. Basher laughed hard again. "Oh Chief, we'll make a Cockney out of you yet son." He chuckled while patting Symmons hard on the shoulder before walking off to finish his work. Looking back in Bashers direction he blinked. "Son?" He asked, but Basher hadn't heard him. Shrugging Symmons collected his padd. 'Humans are really weird.'